Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Coming Strong: Why is it a Bad Idea to Act when You are Angry

A month ago, I was reading an article about a boy who punched a bully out of anger.  And it ends up the bully died due to brain hemorrhage.  It was just a single punch.  It must have been a punch that has strong force of anger.  

As you can see, an irreversible event may happen if we act out in anger.  I am not saying to be always passive, but you have to think about what will be the end result if anger will get the best of you.  After all, what is the worst thing that can happen if you think first before acting?

I had experienced when I acted with anger and end up feeling regretful.  And it tasted bad.  It feels like, I want to turn back time and act differently.

Just recently, I parked where the space is really crowded.  I knew that there was a big possibility that another car may park behind me, that may cause a delay in case I need to move out from where I am parked.  And so it happened.  But I was not expecting that the person parked behind me will leave his car.  So I talked to the security guard with not the nicest notes, asking where is the owner of the car.  I have waited for a good 5 minutes, and this old guy showed up with his teenage kid.  I started saying something like, "Aren't you thinking about what you have done?".  And some other words that I am to ashamed to remember.  

After maybe around an hour or two, I started thinking about what happened.  The old guy could have been my dad, trying to help his kid about something and I can't wait 5 minutes?  And I realized that I was mean that time. I don't own the parking lot and what is 5 minutes?

If you will meet me, I am, maybe, one of the people that you will know that is patient.  But I lost it there for just 5 minutes.  Last thing I want to happen is when I start to lose my cool.  I don't want to come strong, not because it is not my style but it is because I don't want to hurt anyone.

So next time you will be in a situation where your head is about to pop with anger, why not try a couple of this tricks and some other practices that you may do when you are bored:

1.  Think outside the situation
This is not easy, but it works.  Try to think about what if you are that person causing the inconvenience.  I am pretty sure that you will find it in your heart that the percentage of anyone that wants to mess with others intentionally is really really low.

2.  Not all situation will be in your favor.
There will come a time that you won't be the winning end.  If you are use to getting what you want, it is time to check your perspective that there are others out there.  It is not all about you.

3.  Consider the end result.
Before you start gunning with your anger, better make sure that you are big and strong enough to carry the consequence of your action.  If you end up getting an irreversible result, you have to live with it.  Otherwise try to save your strength for fighting a good fight.

4.  Avoid any activity that gets in your nerve.
If you start avoiding things that makes you angry, this will lessen your sensitivity to being angry.  If you are getting frustrated that you can't get what you want, then start thinking about other options.  Tomorrow never dies anyway.

To wrap it up,  Anger is still going to be an unavoidable feeling, what is avoidable is how you will react negatively about it.  Of course you are not God, a robot, or a machine that have no feelings, to say that you are perfect and can be very patient every time.  But you can avoid coming strong with anger if you think maybe 10 times of what you really want to do before you start doing the irreversible.