Sunday, June 30, 2013

Why Do We Feel Uneasy During First Meetings?: Tips How to Prepare Before First Meetings

Imagine you step-in to a room that is more or less 20 people that you don't know.  The first instinct you will feel is "where can you be without anyone noticing you".  Well, let us face it, we are all shy at first because we are inside of what appears a foreign place with a lot of people that you don't know.  Even a bad facial impression that you are trying to hide counts.

It happens during gatherings, meetings, trainings, small talks, or even a job orientation.  Whenever it is going to happen let the uneasiness feeling takeover for just a few moments and try to regain composure while your uneasiness is subsiding.  I know it is hard but think about it as "what are you going to do while you are wating for the uncomfortable feeling to go away?"  Then best answer is to strategize.

Not all of us will be gifted about this but trying is for everyone, because if you are not going to try it then don't expect a result that you will like.


Being Yourself is Important, but it is an Overstatement
Being yourself is by self definition is being careless, so you really don't want to over do it.  It is important in a sense that it will give you that boost of confidence factor.  But of course you don't want to end up being judge in away that you don't want to.  Better be yourself in a way that it is going to be relevant to the situation.  Like, if it is a dance party then show your moves but if it is a job orientation and you like to joke around then better leave the joking for later when the facilitator of the orientation is being serious.  After all, your question to yourself is "how would you feel if the people around you are taking you too lightly with jokes while you are saying something important?"  Being yourself is OK, but make sure the "yourself" attitudes are relevant.

Equip yourself
Being prepared is one thing, but being armed before you go is another.  It is like an interview, of course in your head you will try to ask questions to yourself similar that you think that the interviewer will ask.  So you do a role play type in your head and answer with confidence.  That is like conditioning your mind to answer as smart as you can.  But it is really off when you start to forget that you suppose to have your resume ready, or a notepad to jot down things or even a pen.  So equip yourself with the necessities before going to battle.

Be accommodating
Don't just shut down yourself when someone starts to try to do some small talks.  Try to reciprocate by asking the same question and take it from there.  I remember when I started working for a company that requires a 5 to 6 weeks in training that I started really quiet.  Well, that is just being me, I am not really a big talker but I make sure that I don't want to sound or even look like I don't want to talk to anyone.  I value everyones privacy, and that is my excuse.  But when there is an oppurtunity for me to do small talks, by all means I will contribute.  It really ease the tension and of course make sure that whoever is it with you will feel the comfort.  After all, you all have same goals, being friendly will make it easy for you to reach goals.

Respect. Be Courteous.
Always apply the golden rule of making sure that don't let others have a feeling that they are not welcome.  And it is a no brainer that you need to respect everyone.  Have that positive attitude that you are investing respect by making the first move of respecting others.  And it is easy.  You don't have to kiss someone else's behind just to do this.  Just the basic and you will be fine.

Tomorrow Never Dies.
If you have not done it, just the way you have pictured it, don't worry because there is still tomorrow to improve.  If your assessment of what your behavior is bad, then try again.  This happens to me a lot because I am not getting the expected reactions from first meetings.  I got like a lot of people ignoring me or just plain act of disrespect.  It might be because my standards are a little bit high when it comes to respecting others that it tends to picture like I don't care or I am a snob.  I just don't like the idea of invading someone else's space and someone invading mine.  If it feels like you have done a little or too much of something, think about it as something that you can improve tomorrow.

Dress Appropriately.
If you know that it is a business related event or meeting that you will be attending then don't wear your party dress.  Try to project that you mean business by dressing or carrying yourself aligned to what event you will be attending.  Plus also try researching first what will be a good look for you during a particular event.  Also don't over do it.  It will just somehow make you lose comfort.  We are in a world where the outside appearance matter.  If you know the saying "eat for yourself and dress for others" then this is what it means.

To sum it up, try to think about what others will think of you and blend it with your own.  Don't over do things and try to have an average perspective that will somehow catapult your confidence.  And always be courteous no matter what because that is how you will earn the respect that you are waiting for.

Thanks again for everyone reading my blog and my special thanks to the following pages on the internet that inspired me more to write about this.