March 8 marks the International Women’s day. We are all making efforts to stop crime against women and children, but somehow our question as ordinary citizens is “Where can we start?” Some suggest that we educate our little girls as early as we can that they have rights, they are free and whatever they do and say matters. That is really a good idea, since making them feel that they are important gives them a sense of pride within. Because in many cases women that are abuse inside or outside their house, they tend to be silent about violence against them. But if we can put the seed to their brain while they are little, that they have rights as women and they can fight for it, then there is no stopping to end any related violence or crime against women.
But for me, as an ordinary citizen living in an ordinary environment, being gentle to my girlfriend comes first above all treatment that I could think of that I can offer to her. May be the ‘violent’ thing I remember that I have done, which I really regret was that I picked her up from her office but it took her like I guess 5 or 15 minutes to arrive from her office to the pick up point, which is very uncommon. In short I was annoyed because I want to go home. She explained the reason why she was a little late is because she was popping popcorn using a microwave from the pantry of their office. Ok, I said but I guess what really fused my head was she said the popcorn was not hers and she just ‘took’ it from someone from her office without her telling. Just before my head got hot, my brain started to process what has been happening while she is making me wait. My brain stated processing something like “I came in the parking lot and remembering that she said that I need to be there on time only to find out that she was cooking pop corn from someone that she did not even ask permission to.” With my bad mood, as we are approaching I guess a red light, I slammed the brake and that made the pop corn bag slide from the dashboard and drop in front of her and most of the pop corn fell to the floor which made her sad of course but that is not all, the heavy tissue box also fell but not directly to the floor but to her foot that hurt her. So that story has been a legend when it comes to when we watch movies because we buy popcorns of course and either her or me reminds ourselves about that.
When I am alone and remember that, I always found myself that I really hated myself when I have done that. I mean, it was just a popcorn only but made me do something that made her sad and worst, hurt her (although not directly of course). Beginning that day until today, as much as I can, when she is either running late or making me wait for too long I promise myself that I will find a way to amuse myself or to kill time.
So that is rule number one, give your woman time in any possible situation. Never rush them. Even if it takes you a year or more of wait, try to find a way to kill time. As a man, you should know how to be patient. You can always say that “I am a patient man” but start doing that to the ones that matters to you.
Now rule number one is connected with rule number two. Don’t make a woman wait. I pick up my girlfriend from office almost every night and when I come late, it is already a sad face waiting for me. I hate that. Not because she cannot understand, it is because why can’t I properly manage my time to be on time for me to pick her up. I mean I can be on time going to office almost everyday, be on time in front of the TV 5 minutes before my favorite TV show, but why can’t I make it happen to be 100 per cent accurate when it comes to pick her up even that I know that it will really make her sad. So rule number one and two is really interconnected as to rule number three that as a man you are the one who will wait not her.
I remember that when I am pick her up from a drop point near our residence, I told her to send me an SMS when she is about to reach a certain land mark but nearly about 40 per cent I am running late or let us just say she is coming first to the drop point instead of me, so what I told her is to text me when she is about to reach a farther landmark. It made her laugh because in her mind the distance of the landmark to the drop point is triple or may be more from where I am coming from to the drop point. I told her “No, I am the one who will wait for you and to make sure about that is that you have to tell me that you are near even you are far away.” And until this day that made a lot of sense to both of us because it cut to I guess less than 10 percent of her being the one who comes first.
It is not really over reacting if you think about it. Even If I wait for 30 minutes for her on the drop point it won’t matter to me. What matter is that if I came late and the “what if’s” started to happen. Like, what if it rained, who will be with her when she goes down from the transport to give her an umbrella? Or what if she is carrying a lot of things, then who will be there to help her?
So if anyone thinks that it is over from what really a man needs to do, then I guess as long as my plan works for both of us, I am happy. Besides, if I make her wait then she will be out of mood and that will give a mess to our quality time. The same if I rush her. If you rush a lady they will improvise to still do what they have not done, particularly putting make up. I don’t like women with make up, but we live in a world where women today needs to do. It is like coffee. Man wants coffee when they wake up. So when my girlfriend puts make up, I think of it as she is just drinking her coffee.
This essay will have series of how to be a gentleman to people around you and including yourself. For the meantime, this ends here and I hope you will be following this blog and read previous posts and share them. Post comments and suggestions below if you have time.
Citations and preferred links:
Yahoo!’s article about International Women’s Day
WikiHow’s cool guide to be a gentleman
Forum about what women wants to talk about