Part of the How to Deal with Kids and Be Cool with it
As we grow up and grow old, we tend to forget our responsibilities. There are factors to answer why. Naming few are stress, lack of time, and distractions.
I love my family. We all do. Problem is that when you get old, things can get slow or fast. Slow, when you are waiting for someone when you have an available time. I work during night shifts, so tendency is that I could not find time to spend it with my family. Because either they are already resting when I am up and when they are available, I am the one that can’t provide time. Fast, in the sense that while you are waiting for something to happen, when it happens you can’t seize the moment and it just happened without you feeling the joy.
A few weeks ago I had a problem dealing with time. I could not provide time with my family. I was too busy during the day to rest and be prepared before night comes. And I really felt bad. I started to create time by starting to remove distractions. I don’t use the computer a lot than I use to when I am at home. I tried to time when I am going to use the computer. Try to listen what my family will say, like when anyone is telling me stories, I would listen and give my best to provide the attention that they deserve from me.
Basically I am trying to be a child to my parents. I know they miss the times that I was young and when they see me, as much as they could, they will try to act as if I am again 10 years old. My mother will cook the meals I like. Not that I mind because most of the time it is really cool with me with what she just cook. Because I know that she is really busy and when she spend more time for me, I feel that she is losing precious time. But I am trying to be a child again because that is what they need from me. If they will ask me what I want, I normally say “nothing” but I guess I need to start to say what I really want from them. Again.
Same goes with my two sisters, due to the “time” problem I have, I became a stranger to them and vice versa. I have done some re-evaluation of what really is it that is keeping me from spending time with my family. I think I need to stop blaming “time” and need to take proper actions. Time is a factor that really is constant. It will not vary depending to our needs. It will still be the same, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and so on. Time, as we know it, will never change. So the real solution there will be proper time management. It will not be enough to plan, but execution of plans will be the key. I guess I am good with planning but I don’t execute what my mind tells me and my shortcoming is affecting the people around me.
And as a Husband to my future wife, I guess this is where I am doing well. When I first heard about me being assigned to a nightshift, the setup was that my partner and I are already living together. And after a long discussion, we decided to move out and go back to our places, meaning back to our own parents house. Needless to say, it will be an adjustment for everyone. And everyday, from that day until today the first priority of my time is she. But I know, as the days goes by that I have to balance things. Since reality is that she is not the only person that needs my attention. Good thing is that most of the time, she is the one who reminds me to take time off and enjoy the time with my parents, sisters and other members of my family, like my nephews and niece.
And as a Parent, I am not directly a father but it makes me one with a full set of nephews and niece in our house. Since daytime is my time for my family, I get to see them more that I use to. I don’t do father-like duties really but I am trying. I guess they will learn by observing from me. They are still really young so I guess they will not yet understand. But being with them is really a good time. If there were bad times, I want to think of it that it is really part of it. After all, that is the only way for everyone to learn. For the young ones and me.
To conclude this story, life is really a cycle. In one day you could be a child to someone else’s eyes, particularly your parents or guardians that looked after you when you were growing up. Give it to them when the still want to act as if you are very young. They need that and that is their way of asking attention. And to be a sibling, never be a stranger because blood is really thicker than water. If disputes between siblings are trying to separate you to each other, be the one to break it off and start evaluating and I am sure you will realize that it might me that you are the one that may have shortcomings. As a partner, if your choice is to spend the whole time with them is really fine but don’t loose track of reality that your time needs to be divided to everyone that needs it. And lastly as a parent, you don’t need to be a ‘real’ parent to do this. Be an example for them to know that older ones are doing something right because we are already ahead. If they cannot understand it yet, then be patient and just enjoy the time with the young ones. Because they won’t forever stay young, and so are you.
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