A couple of weeks ago, I suffered a massive lost of confidence about turning this blog around. I lost the ability to believe that I can help people to develop their inner energy to be productive or to at least feel good about themselves. The mission of this blog is really to help others by me doing research, share my experiences and organize the idea in a way that it will be easy to follow or to understand.
It stared after I got excited while I am learning to listen to a specific Pod Cast. Well, I am not really blaming the awesome Pod Cast. It was may be myself excitement that drew me to that specific energy that I can do a specific task far over my head then I lost the grip. So for a couple of weeks I became sloppy, my health was a bit worst and my overall performance with whatever I do, think, feel etc. is really at a very low efficiency.
Funny thing is that I am not really alarmed about it, not until I started to re-evaluate myself. And to my surprise I am not following the path that I pledge myself to walk on ahead. I really started to feel like I am getting stuck somewhere and the worst enemy (which is myself) is actually winning. Good thing that inside of me, I still have that other self that is just a beaten up but will not give up.
Just to share, one of the amazing thing about learning something about the Pod Cast that I am listening lately (in the future I will share that Pod Cast) is that when someone is creating a content is to be as authentic as possible. He called it 'Bleeding'. Of course not literally, but to express to the content what is really happening.
To be honest, I have around 50 unpublished write up about a lot of things that I am scared to post. Well, I have to start being honest and it needs to start by being honest to myself. I lost the belief that I can make a small amount difference with every letter that I write in this blog to anyone else. Now question is, how did I manage to bring it back to my system.
Well, it is not totally back. The war inside of me between continuing this blog or not is still on going and not really sure when will that end. But I am not about to give up and need to get some grips. I would like to post some of the things that can help anyone, including me to regain what was lost.
1. Starting Small
Well, this one is really going to be easy. I tried to find some of my notes that I wrote during the research period of 'Between Paths'. Frustrated because I really did not find any, I decided to log-in to blogger after 3 weeks from posting the Part 1 of Goal Setting. And to my surprise, the last blog post that I created about goal setting actually is the current most visited page that I have created. I never thought that I can reach that amount of visitors since I posted the Gentleman blog I created that generated visitors from most of my wife's friends.
My wife actually shared the link to her best buddies. I can't forget that day because that night I had a few drinks with them. We haven't talked about that that much but I was one of those seasons that I had time to create blogs and just let the words flow from my mind to my heart and eventually to my fingers and let it type the story.
So I started small by checking my achievements from the project at hand which is this blog. I even tried to create a new blog 2 nights ago from scratch and earlier was trying to come up with a different niche. To make it short I really lost it by choosing a different path. Luckily I just decided to log-in to blogger and here we are.
2. Broken Promises can be Fixed
If ever you broke a promise to yourself, never think that you can make it up. I remember having a full spreadsheet of a monthly income and expense that has all of details that did not last long. In my remembrance, I created the list and less than a month I did not follow the budgeting system. In short, it was a promise to myself that I did not kept.
Earlier this week, I started again but this time I created it manually. I won't be creating it again using my phone or my computer. There is really a different effect when it comes to writing it using a pen and a paper.
Well, that is all I can think for now. I haven't really brewed this one as good as I can. It only took me less than 30 minutes to create this. I am hoping for the best that this won't end.
Comments, suggestions and reactions are greatly appreciated my friends.