Friday, April 25, 2014

Defeat is Not The End: How to Recover and Never Give Up

In life there are things that we want to achieve, like a brand new car, a house near the beach, the promotion you've been waiting for, the physical look you want to have this summer, and so on, and so on.

Yet along the way, as time goes and as challenges made it difficult, we change our preference.  We end up feeling defeated, that we didn't get what we have hoped for, and 'distractions' has gotten in the way towards achieving our goals.

Well my friend, you are not alone.

In fact, most of the achievers have been defeated numerous times before winning what they want.  And just like you, they also felt demotivated, hated themselves and gave up too.

In real world, all of us have been given opportunities time and time again.  We are all losers at some point in time.  The people that achieved what they wanted, they just kept on going, and going, and going.

They have broken barriers within themselves that they made the impossible, possible!

Let's take a closer look how to recover from defeat and decide to never give up.

You did not get what you want? Then, welcome to the club.

OK, so the first thing that you have to remember is, you did not get what you want and you are not alone.  All of us are losers and all of us have the capacity to win what we thought as impossible.  If you will consider the fact that you're not alone when it comes to not getting what you want, it will be easier for your feelings to recover.

Cry, cry, and cry a lot.

Allow yourself to be depress for a period of time.  If you need an hour, a day, a week, a month or even years, then do so.  Let your true feelings come out, but consider the people around you.  Don't just be depress and throw nasty things to others.  They are innocent, so just let your awful feeling out but still be mindful of your actions.

Now, analyze why you fail.

After you've cried a river, it is time to analyze why you fail in the first place.  Was it the methods you have applied? or How big the goal was? or The time frame you have allowed yourself to achieve the goal?

If you haven't heard about the S.M.A.R.T. goal, I suggest that you read and apply them the next time you plan how to achieve your goals.

A few pointers about S.M.A.R.T. Goal.

It stands for:

S: Specific
M: Measurable
A: Attainable
R: Realistic
T: Time Bound

All of which answers particular questions when you plan how to reach your goal.  But I wanted to just point out the specific, the measurable, and the realistic part.

When you set a goal, you need to be very specific.  For example "I want to save money" doesn't have any specific amount.  Try to be specific like, "I want to save $500 dollars", "I want to lose 10 lbs."

Then measure your progress as you go towards your goal.  Just like my example of saving $500 dollars, you need to keep track of your progress.

Finally, make sure that your goal is realistic.  Don't shoot for the moon or something.  If you are aiming to save money, then make sure it doesn't sacrifice your other priorities.

Take it easy...

As you plan for your next attempt to reach your goal, don't get too excited.  Take it one step at a time, if you still feel the slight depression from your previous defeat them stop for a moment, have a coffee or watch TV, or do whatever you like.

When I am writing my blog, I want to make sure that I enjoyed every second of typing my thoughts, that I am very unconscious with my work, that I get to very in to the topic.

Still, I am a person not a machine.  I take few breaks in between, I play with our dogs, talk with the people around me about crazy stuffs that we can laugh about, just to name a few.

I want to be a workaholic, but I want to enjoy life as well.

So take it easy, take few breaks, love your life as you move towards your goal.  It is a win-win situation, baby.

When the going gets tough...

But there are times that you will feel that you can't move up to the next level towards your success.  I'll tell it is fine.  Just think of emotions are just "stops" or "breaks" that you have to consider.  I am certain that your body, your situation, or whatever force around is just telling to slow down, take a rest, and continue later.

Although, it is ideal to push your limits sometimes.  When you feel that is something within you that is about to break and you feel that you can't continue or you want to quit, keep moving forward.

Limits serves as boundaries of what you are not capable as of the moment, but it doesn't mean it is forever.  You have to still respect the laws of nature within you and around you.  "Live today, fight tomorrow"

Talk with someone very close to your heart...

It can be your pet fish, your mom, your annoying neighbor, your work mate for 10 years, your bully brother, whoever is very close to your heart that can and will be true to you when you tell them about your defeat.

Talking with someone very close to you is an effective way of releasing tension and letting someone knowing your situation can change your perception about defeat.

Because I am sure, whoever is that someone that you will tell your bad stories to, will have something to say about their own experiences, and how they have turn things around.

Change approach....

Part of the S.M.A.R.T. goal is "Attainable", in which case the approach how will you reach your goal.  If you have tried the same approach that lead you to failure, then re-think and change your approach.

It is a trial and error my friend.  An I am positive that you'll get the right method after trying over and over again.

My take is to do your own research.  The internet have all the "How to..." for free that you can find.  Try several of them for a couple of days and track which one works best for you.

The bigger the goal, the more sacrifice you need to make...

It is a general rule, what you give is what you take.  I am not trying to demotivate you but think about it.  If you really want to reach a certain level of success, it is suppose to match the level of work you are willing to do.

It is not like the big boss always sit around and do nothing.  Comes late and goes early.  No.  They work 24/7/365.

They work their behind, and we just don't know about it.  I guess they even work while they are sleeping.  So, take your time to think about getting bigger goals, and if you are willing to pay the price.

Lastly, have faith...

Always be on the positive side of the situation.  I am not saying smile, and laugh while you are beaten.  I am saying that have faith that whatever you are going through right now, whether you have failed over and over again, or you just came one step short to winning, that you'll eventually get what you deserve.

Have faith that you have the capability to win and the capability to accept defeat.